^ God cl8ton, the punchline is harsh.

 

Really incredible jokes folks!

My tummy's achin' already.


Keep posting


___________________________
Car Parts Hunting...
Silverline Diesel Performance Down Pipe
Skyjacker Hydro 7000 Shock Absorber

 

Here you go!!



If you've ever worked for a boss that reacts before getting the facts
andthinking things through, you'll love this...

A large company, feeling it was time for a shakeup, hired a new CEO.
The new boss was determined to rid the company of all slackers.
On a tour of the facilities, the CEO noticed a guy leaning on a wall.
The room was full of workers and he wanted to let
them know that hemeant business.
He walked up to the guy leaning against the wall and asked,
'How much money do you make a week?'A little surprised,
the young man looked at him and replied,'I make $400 a week. Why?
'TheCEOthen handed the guy $1,600 in cash and screamed, 'Here's four weeks'
paynow GET OUT and don't come back.
'Feeling pretty good about himself theCEOlooked around the roomand asked,
"Does anyone want to tell me what thatgoof-ball did around here?




"From across the room came a voice,'Pizza delivery guy from Domino's.'[/align]

 

Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.

The ball hit one of the men.

He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony.

The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately began to apologize. “Please allow me to help. I’m a Physical Therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you’d allow me,� she told him.

“Oh, no, I’ll be all right. I’ll be fine in a few minutes,� the man replied. He was in obvious agony, lying in the fetal position, still clasping his hands at his groin.

At her persistence, however, he finally allowed her to help. She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, loosened his pants and put her hands inside.

She administered tender and artful massage for several long moments and asked, “How does that feel?�

He replied, “It feels great, but I still think my thumb’s broken.�

 

My friend Charlie has been having some digestive problems and has been passing a lot of gas. He finally realized he was going to have to see a doctor about it so made and appointment. When he had the doctor's attention in the examining room, Charlie explained, "It's really gotten to be a problem, Doc. The fartsdon't smell bad, but they are embarrasing anyway." He cracked off a couple of them to demonstrate. The doctor started pulling instruments together and said, "Well, Charlie, we can take care of this very quickly." Charlie was a little startled and asked, "You mean you're going to operate on my rectum right here in your examining room?" The doctor smiled and said, "Oh no, I'm going to operate on your nose."

Rolomac

 

Just learneda definition that will clarify some of the campaign rhetoric -

POLITICALLY CORRECT = A DOCTRINE FOSTERED BY A DELUSIONAL MINORITY AND THE MAINSTREAM MEDIA WHICH HOLDS FORTH THE PROPOSITION THAT IT IS ENTIRELY POSSIBLE TO PICK UP A TURD BY THE CLEAN END.

Rolomac

 

Good One!
This is Politically Incorrect



I was depressed last night so I called Lifeline.

Got a call centre in Pakistan .
I told them I was suicidal.

They got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck.

 

Cl8ton: All I can say is LMAO. [sm=lol.gif]

 

My friend Charlie went to the Superbowl. He saved for a year to be able to afford a ticket and transportation and arranged for the time off from work. His seat was way up in the stadium about a mile away from the action but he had brought his binoculars to see the game. During the pre-game ceremonies he was looking around the stadium with his binoculars and noticed that there was an empty seat right on the 50 yard line and just ten rows back from the field. He thought that was odd - since every other seat seemed to be filled - and went on looking around. As game time was getting closer he kept looking back at that seat and it was still unoccupied. Finally - with just a few minutes to go before the kick-off he decided he just had to check that out, so he worked his way down to that spot and sure enough - there was the empty seat, just ten rows back and right on the fifty yard line.

Charlie asked the gentleman sitting next to the empty seat if it was occupied. The man shrugged and said "No". Charlie asked if he would mind if he sat there and the man shrugged again and said "No problem." Charlie moved in and sat down and was amazed at the view he had. Talking to the gentleman next to him he said, "This seat is absolutely incredible." The man answered, "I know - I bought it for that reason." Charlie said, "You mean you bought this seat and nobody is sitting in it?" The man looked rather sad and said, "Yes, I bought these two seats - one for me and one for my wife - but she passed away." Charlie felt terrible and said to the man, "I'm really sorry - but isn't there a family member or a friend or even a neighbor who could have been sitting here?"

"No," said the man, "They are all at the funeral."

Rolomac

 

My nephew, Billy, went to confession and told the priest, "Father I have sinned, I've been with a girl in my class who has loose moral virtue." The priest said, "This is very serious, Billy, but I'm glad you've told me. Who is this girl?" Billy replied, "Father I can't tell you that - I can't hurt the girl's reputation." The priest explained to Billy that for the confession to be complete and meaningful he required all of the information. Billy refused. The priest tried a different approach.

"Billy, is it Mary Smith?" and Billy replied, "Father I just can't tell you."

"Then is it Sally Jones?" and Billy replied, "No Father, Ican't answer."

"Is it Susan Brown?" and Billy replied, "Father it isn't Susan - - -I just can't tell you."

"Billy, is it Betty Williams?" and Billy again replied, "Fatheritisn't Betty. I can't tell you who it is."

In frustration, the priest said, "Billy, I have no choice but to tell you your punishment. You've been an altar boy for a long time. I want you to go home and reflect on your sin. You must give up your altar boy duties for four weeks." Billy said, "Yes, Father." and left the confessional. When he got outside, two of his friends were waiting and asked, "Well, how did it go?"

"Great", said Billy, I got a four week vacation and four good leads.

Rolomac