Man boarded an airplane in New Orleans, with
a box of crabs. A female crew member took the box and promised to put it
in the crew's refrigerator, which she did. The man firmly advised her
that he was holding her personally responsible for the crabs staying
frozen, and proceeded to rant and rave about what would happen if she let
the crabs thaw out. Shortly before landing in New York, she announced to
the entire cabin, "Would the gentleman who gave me the crabs in New
Orleans, please raise your hand?"Not one hand went up ... so she took them
home and ate them herself!

 

Humor from England!


The train was quite crowded, so a U. S. Marine walked the entire length
looking for a seat, but the only seat left was taken by a well dressed
middle-aged, French woman's poodle. The war-weary Marine asked,
"Ma'am, May I have that seat?"[/align]
The French woman just sniffed and said to no one in particular,
"Americans are so rude. My little Fifi is using that seat".
The Marine walked the entire train again, but the only seat left was
under that dog. "Please, ma'am. May I sit down? I'm very tired."
She snorted, "Not only are you Americans rude, you are also arrogant!"[/align]
This time the Marine didn't say a word; he just picked up the little
dog, tossed it out the train window, and sat down.
The woman shrieked, "Someone must defend my honor! This American [/align]shouldbe put in his place!"[/align]
An English gentleman sitting nearby spoke up, "Sir, you Americans often [/align]seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You hold the fork in [/align]the wrong hand. You drive your autos on the wrong side of the road and [/align]now, sir, you seem to have thrown the wrong bitch out the window.[/align][/align]

 

LOLLLL thats good

 

Early this year I spent a vacation week in Jamaica (very beautiful place) and had an odd thing happen. Upon arrival there I needed to use the men's roomand was able to find it conveniently located in the center of the airport. I was standing at one of the urinals next to another fellow who I took to be a native. He had the dreadlocks and beads and sandals. The divider between the two urinals was low and I couldn't help but glance over toward my neighbor's "equipment". I was surprised by its size and also by the tatoo that I could read on it - "WENDY". As I stepped back and zipped up I said to the fellow, "I couldn't help but notice your tatoo - that's pretty unique, putting your lady's name on your 'equipment.'" He was grinning as he turned around and said, "Oh, that's not my lady's name." Andhe stretched it out to it's full length soI could read - "WELCOME TO JAMAICA - HAVE A NICE DAY."
Rolomac

 

hehe

 

Fantastic!!!

 

THE POLITE WAY TO SAY YOU NEED TO GO PEE

During one of her daily classes, a teacher trying to teach good
manners, asked her students the following question:

'Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady,
how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?'

Michael said, 'Just a minute I have to go pee.'

The teacher responded by saying, 'That would be rude and impolite.

What about you Peter, how would you say it?'


Peter said, 'I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I'll
be right back.'

'That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word 'bathroom'
at the dinner table.

And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and Show us
your good manners?'

'I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to
shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope you'll get to
meet after dinner.'

The teacher fainted.

 

I appologise , in advance, to the ladies for this one


Apple Computer announced that it has developed a computer chip that can store and play music in women's breast implants. The 'iTit' will cost between $499 and $699, depending on size.

This is considered to be a major breakthrough because women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them.[/align]

 

LOLLLLLLLLL wow those were both good. keep em comin cl8ton haha