RE: This one had me cracking up (Full Version)

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RE: This one had me cracking up

wsoape281 -> RE: This one had me cracking up (6/15/2007 11:36:59 AM)
a man walks into a bar with a beautiful blonde on one arm, a beautiful red head on the other, and a little man on his shoulder. he sits down and tells the bartender that he wants to buy the house a round of beers. the bartender hands out the beers and the little man runs around and knocks all of them over. he orders another round and another and the little man runs around and knocks all of them over just as they get them. finally the bartender asks whats going on and the man says; "i met a genie and he gave me three wishes. my first was to have a beautiful woman on each arm, my second was to have a billion dollars, and my third was to have a twelve inch prick and this is what i got."

wsoape281 -> RE: This one had me cracking up (6/15/2007 11:44:24 AM)
a guy is walking down the beach and trips over a genie bottle. the genie tells him that he has only one wish and he needs to make it a good one. he thinks for a minute and says; "i want to go to hawaii whenever i want, but i am terrified of flying, so i want a bridge that can take me there in my car." the genie automatically says; "that is impossible. the amount of concrete that it would take, the size of the structure, it is just all ridiculous. think of something else." the man thinks for a second and says, "i want to understand everything about women. i want to understand why the first outfit they put on is never the right one, i want to understand why they say one thing and mean another, i want to know what they are thinking and how to read them..." the genie cuts the man off and says, "will that bridge be two lanes or four?"

87 turbo II -> RE: This one had me cracking up (6/15/2007 2:54:05 PM)
Haha I know right?

dave87 -> RE: This one had me cracking up (6/16/2007 8:46:48 PM)
lol to true!

cl8ton -> RE: This one had me cracking up (6/18/2007 7:27:43 AM)
They just keep coming... Subject: CELIBACY Celibacy can be a choice in life, or a condition imposed by circumstances. While attending a Marriage Encounter Weekend, Walter and his wife Ann, listened to the instructor declare, "It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are importantto each other. He addressed the men, "Can you name and describe your wife's favourite flower?" Walter leaned over, touched Ann's arm gently and whispered, "Robin Hood-All-purpose,isn't it?" And thus began Walter's life of celibacy.

rolomac -> RE: This one had me cracking up (6/18/2007 2:14:14 PM)
A doe staggered out of the trees and into a clearing, looking dazed and confused. "Wow," she said, "that's the last time I'll do that for two bucks."

cl8ton -> RE: This one had me cracking up (6/19/2007 5:21:01 AM)
Nice!!! I have to forward that to the Guy's in our Hunting Camp. Two 90 year old men, Mike and Joe, have been friends all of their lives. When it's clear that Joe is dying, Mike visits him every day. One day Mike says, "Joe, we both loved football all our lives, and we played minor league football together for so many years. Please do me one favour, when you get to Heaven, somehow you must let me know if there's football there." Joe looks up at Mike from his death bed," Mike, you've been my best friend for many years. If it's at all possible, I'll do this favour for you. Shortly after that, Joe passes on. At midnight a couple of nights later, Mike is awakened from a sound sleep by a blinding flash of white light and a voice calling out to him," Mike--Mike." "Who is it?, asks Mike sitting up suddenly. "Who is it?" "Mike--it's me, Joe." "You're not Joe. Joe just died." "I'm telling you, it's me, Joe," insists the voice." "Joe! Where are you?" "In heaven", replies Joe. "I have some really good news and a little bad news." "Tell me the good news first," says Mike. "The good news," Joe says," is that there's football in heaven. Better yet, all of our old friends who died before us are here, too. Better than that, we're all young again. Better still, it's always spring time and it never rains or snows. And best of all, we can play football all we want, and we never get tired." "That's fantastic," says Mike. "It's beyond my wildest dreams! So what's the bad news? "You're playing Tuesday." [image]http://gfx1.mail.live.com/mail/w1/emoticons/smile_omg.gif[/image]

87 turbo II -> RE: This one had me cracking up (6/19/2007 8:11:04 AM)
Haha

babyhuey -> RE: This one had me cracking up (6/21/2007 12:05:20 AM)
All good ones you all but the one by rolomac and getting out of the beer vat to pee three times killed me. Now that is funny right there now. Git er done. I love watching the Blue Collar Comedy Tour Series. Have any of you seen this? Bill Engvall is my fav and the skit he did with the dorkfish had me laughing so hard the first time I saw that damn near peed my own shorts. If you have never seen the program then get it and take a look. Maybe not funny for all but I thought his skit was hilarious. Larry the cable guy is of course always a kick and so is Jeff but never did like Ron White untill I heard his story of gitting kicked out of the bar. That was very good!!

cl8ton -> RE: This one had me cracking up (6/21/2007 5:38:18 AM)
Ever seen the skit The Blue Comedy Tour did about their "Decks"? Absolutely Hilarious Here is one for the Ladies Five tips for a woman.... 1. It is important that a man helps you around the house and has a job. 2. It is important that a man makes you laugh. 3. It is important to find a man you can count on and doesn't lie to you. 4. It is important that a man loves you and spoils you. 5. It is important that these four men don't know each other.

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