RE: This one had me cracking up
Login  | |
|
RE: This one had me cracking up - 6/15/2007 11:36:59 AM
|
|
|
wsoape281
Posts: 751
Joined: 3/1/2007
Status: offline
|
a man walks into a bar with a beautiful blonde on one arm, a beautiful red head on the other, and a little man on his shoulder. he sits down and tells the bartender that he wants to buy the house a round of beers. the bartender hands out the beers and the little man runs around and knocks all of them over. he orders another round and another and the little man runs around and knocks all of them over just as they get them. finally the bartender asks whats going on and the man says; "i met a genie and he gave me three wishes. my first was to have a beautiful woman on each arm, my second was to have a billion dollars, and my third was to have a twelve inch prick and this is what i got."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
RE: This one had me cracking up - 6/15/2007 11:44:24 AM
|
|
|
wsoape281
Posts: 751
Joined: 3/1/2007
Status: offline
|
a guy is walking down the beach and trips over a genie bottle. the genie tells him that he has only one wish and he needs to make it a good one. he thinks for a minute and says; "i want to go to hawaii whenever i want, but i am terrified of flying, so i want a bridge that can take me there in my car." the genie automatically says; "that is impossible. the amount of concrete that it would take, the size of the structure, it is just all ridiculous. think of something else." the man thinks for a second and says, "i want to understand everything about women. i want to understand why the first outfit they put on is never the right one, i want to understand why they say one thing and mean another, i want to know what they are thinking and how to read them..." the genie cuts the man off and says, "will that bridge be two lanes or four?"
|
|
|
|
|
RE: This one had me cracking up - 6/15/2007 2:54:05 PM
|
|
|
87 turbo II
Posts: 1709
Joined: 3/25/2006
From: Atlanta Georgia
Status: offline
|
Haha I know right?
_____________________________
|
|
|
|
|
RE: This one had me cracking up - 6/16/2007 8:46:48 PM
|
|
|
dave87
Posts: 192
Joined: 2/13/2006
From: Quebec
Status: offline
|
lol to true!
|
|
|
|
|
RE: This one had me cracking up - 6/18/2007 7:27:43 AM
|
|
|
cl8ton
Posts: 241
Joined: 6/1/2007
Status: offline
|
They just keep coming...
Subject: CELIBACY
Celibacy can be a choice in life, or a condition imposed by circumstances.
While attending a Marriage Encounter Weekend, Walter and his wife Ann,
listened to the instructor declare,
"It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are importantto each other.
He addressed the men,
"Can you name and describe your wife's favourite flower?"
Walter leaned over, touched Ann's arm gently and whispered,
"Robin Hood-All-purpose,isn't it?"
And thus began Walter's life of celibacy.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: This one had me cracking up - 6/18/2007 2:14:14 PM
|
|
|
rolomac
Posts: 113
Joined: 7/17/2005
Status: offline
|
A doe staggered out of the trees and into a clearing, looking dazed and confused. "Wow," she said, "that's the last time I'll do that for two bucks."
|
|
|
|
|
RE: This one had me cracking up - 6/19/2007 5:21:01 AM
|
|
|
cl8ton
Posts: 241
Joined: 6/1/2007
Status: offline
|
Nice!!! I have to forward that to the Guy's in our Hunting Camp.
Two 90 year old men, Mike and Joe, have been friends all of their lives.
When it's clear that Joe is dying, Mike visits him every day. One day
Mike says, "Joe, we both loved football all our lives, and we played minor
league football together for so many years. Please do me one favour,
when you get to Heaven, somehow you must let me know if there's football
there." Joe looks up at Mike from his death bed," Mike, you've been my best
friend for many years. If it's at all possible, I'll do this favour for you.
Shortly after that, Joe passes on. At midnight a couple of nights later, Mike is awakened from a sound
sleep by a blinding flash of white light and a voice calling out to him,"
Mike--Mike."
"Who is it?, asks Mike sitting up suddenly. "Who is it?"
"Mike--it's me, Joe."
"You're not Joe. Joe just died."
"I'm telling you, it's me, Joe," insists the voice."
"Joe! Where are you?"
"In heaven", replies Joe. "I have some really good news and a little bad news."
"Tell me the good news first," says Mike.
"The good news," Joe says," is that there's football in heaven. Better
yet, all of our old friends who died before us are here, too. Better
than that, we're all young again. Better still, it's always spring time and
it never rains or snows. And best of all, we can play football all we
want, and we never get tired."
"That's fantastic," says Mike. "It's beyond my wildest dreams! So
what's the bad news?
"You're playing Tuesday." 
|
|
|
|
|
Printable Version
