RE: This one had me cracking up
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RE: This one had me cracking up - 7/19/2008 10:26:45 AM
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VB
Posts: 784
Joined: 6/17/2007
From: New York, New York
Status: offline
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I still understood it and laughed, even 3 years removed from my only chemistry course.
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RE: This one had me cracking up - 7/31/2008 4:21:40 AM
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virgin1
Posts: 4922
Joined: 3/15/2007
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''Nough said. 
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 "There is no tool you can buy that will replace experience." - Josh Mills, C.K.DeLuxe
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RE: This one had me cracking up - 8/18/2008 1:26:51 PM
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rolomac
Posts: 119
Joined: 7/17/2005
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Cute little teller at the bank hit me with this one this morning. Had me giggling all through my transaction - - - Do you know where virgin wool comes from?
Ugly sheep!
rolomac
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RE: This one had me cracking up - 8/22/2008 1:18:18 PM
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rolomac
Posts: 119
Joined: 7/17/2005
Status: offline
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ok - so I don''t want to see this thread drop off the page because I get some of my best jokes here. The only thing new I have to offer is one that I''ve been hesitant to post - - - it''s a little raw - - - hopefully not too raw (if virgin1 can get away with that great bear photo I should be ok with this one). When I heard it I thought it was absolutely hillarious but I''ve had mixed reviews when I tell it - - - some people give me a dirty look - - - some chuckle - - - and some do like me and almost crack up. Anyway - - - here it is - - -
Bob went to the doctor for a complete physical and when the doctor was about half done he stepped back and said, "Bob, you''re going to have to stop masturbating."
Bob asked, "Why, Doc?"
The doctor said, "Because I''m trying to examine you."
Rolomac
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RE: This one had me cracking up - 8/22/2008 4:52:07 PM
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wsoape281
Posts: 1007
Joined: 3/1/2007
Status: online
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here''s on for head scratching. it took me a minute to get this one
a buddhist walks up to a hotdog vendor and tells him, "make me one with everything."
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My name is Wes, and i am a boostaholic
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RE: This one had me cracking up - 8/29/2008 6:28:17 AM
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cl8ton
Posts: 240
Joined: 6/1/2007
Status: offline
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Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is usually the husband.
When our lawn mower broke and wouldn''t run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first: the truck, The car, email, fishing, always something more important to me.
Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point. When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the t all grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors.
I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I was gone only a few minutes. When I came out again I handed her a toothbrush. ''When you finish cutting the grass,'' I said, ''you might as well sweep the driveway.''
The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.
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RE: This one had me cracking up - 9/3/2008 1:28:34 PM
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rolomac
Posts: 119
Joined: 7/17/2005
Status: offline
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My 85 year old neighbor, Bill was having his physical exam and the doctor requested a sperm count. He gave Bill a jar and said "take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow."
The next day Bill reappeared at the doctor''s office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as it was the previous day.
The doctor asked what hapened and Bill explained, "Well, doc, it''s like this - - - first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with her teeth in, and then with her teeth out, still nothing.
We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin'' it between her knees, but still nothing."
The doctor was shocked!!! "You asked your neighbor?"
Bill replied, "Yes, none of could get that jar open."
Rolomac
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RE: This one had me cracking up - 9/4/2008 8:11:58 AM
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cl8ton
Posts: 240
Joined: 6/1/2007
Status: offline
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Can''t remember if this one has been posted ... Old Age Setting In, but not this bad!
- It''s Hell Getting Old
4 old mischievous Grandmas were sitting at a table in a nursing home.
About then an old Grandpa walked in.
One of the old Grandma''s yelled out saying,
''We bet we can tell exactly how old you are.''
The old man said,
''There ain''t no way you can guess it, you old fools.''
One of the old Grandmas said,
''Sure we can! Just drop your pants & under shorts & we can tell your exact age.''
Embarrassed just a little,
but anxious to prove they couldn''t do it, he
dropped his pants.
The Grandmas asked him to first turn around
a couple of times & to jump up & down several times.
Then they all piped up & said, ''You''re 87 years old!''
Standing with his pants down around his ankles,
the old gent asked, ''How in the world did you guess?''
Slapping their knees & grinning from ear to ear,
all 4 old ladies happily yelled in unison
''We were at your birthday party yesterday
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RE: This one had me cracking up - 9/4/2008 9:19:38 AM
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jaimie08mazda3
Posts: 2057
Joined: 8/25/2007
Status: offline
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the grass cutting thing was the best and the bear hehe. ok i got one
so these 2 blondes decide to rob a bank. they get it all planned and everything. so on the time of the day the smarter blonde tells the other one okay what ill do is stay in the car while you tie up the guard and blow the safe. the other blonde says ok. she asks her before do you got it? the other blonde goes yes. so she goes in and the smarter blonde is waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting. then she sees the other blonde and here she is with a safe with a rope tied to it. so they get it in the car and see a security guard with his pants down around his ankles. the smarter blonde goes "NO I said tie up the guard and blow the safe" lol
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2008 mazda3 GS 5spd
Jaimie08mazda3:ricing out a 4 door integra is stupid
Virgin1: and how many doors does your mazda3 have
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