RE: This one had me cracking up
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RE: This one had me cracking up - 6/2/2008 1:49:10 PM
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rolomac
Posts: 119
Joined: 7/17/2005
Status: offline
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My neighbor, Maynard is getting on in years and has always been the picture of health but was feeling a bit under the weather so decided it was time for a complete physical. He made an appointment and went in for the total exam and after a few days went back for the results. The doctor took him into his office and said, "Maynard, I don't know how to tell you this except just straight up - - - you're going to die."
Maynard was shocked, of course, and said, "Doc - - - that can't be - - - I've always been in great health until just the past few days." The doctor said, "I'm really sorry, Maynard - - - there isn't anything I can do - - - you're going to die." Maynard asked if he should get a second opinion but the doctor said, "It won't do any good, Maynard, the results of your tests are right here in black and white - - - you're going to die and there isn't anything I can do."
Maynard was overwhelmed and said, "Nothing, Doc? Absolutely nothing?"
"Well," said the doctor, "There is a place just down the street that has mineral mud baths - - - you might do those each day."
Filled with new hope, Maynard asked, "Will that help, Doc?
"No," said the doctor, "but it will get you used to being in the dirt."
Rolomac
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RE: This one had me cracking up - 6/11/2008 1:15:29 PM
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rolomac
Posts: 119
Joined: 7/17/2005
Status: offline
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Two five year olds were playing doctor and comparing their "pee-pees".
Susie looked at Bobby''s and said, "It looks different from my brother''s".
Bobby replies, "That''s ''cause I was circumcised."
Susie looked puzzled and asked, "What''s that mean?"
"Well," said Bobby, "When I was born they cut the skin off the end."
"Ooooooo," said Susie, "That must have hurt."
Bobby replied, "I didn''t walk for almost twelve months."
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RE: This one had me cracking up - 6/19/2008 1:06:02 PM
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rolomac
Posts: 119
Joined: 7/17/2005
Status: offline
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The brand new blonde nurse showed up for her first day at work at the Medical Center. She brought a red pen with her - - - in case she needed to draw blood.
(groan)
Rolomac
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RE: This one had me cracking up - 6/19/2008 1:46:39 PM
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virgin1
Posts: 4922
Joined: 3/15/2007
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Heard a really bad one (groan) yesterday...
Seems this couple w/9 children had been living out in the woods for years, away from civilization in general.
One day they go into town to see a doctor.
Wife: Doctor, my husband needs a vasectomy RIGHT NOW!!
The doctor looked to the 5 children sitting at his left, then scanned the 4 sitting on his right and said,
Why immediately? Why now, after 9 children?
Wife: Well, a passer by told us that a news report said that in America now 1 out of every 10 children is born Hispanic. We don''t speak Spanish and couldn''t communicate with the next one!!
_____________________________
 "There is no tool you can buy that will replace experience." - Josh Mills, C.K.DeLuxe
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