RE: This one had me cracking up
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RE: This one had me cracking up - 2/21/2008 8:56:30 AM
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VB
Posts: 784
Joined: 6/17/2007
From: New York, New York
Status: online
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Cl8ton: All I can say is LMAO. 
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RE: This one had me cracking up - 2/21/2008 1:39:35 PM
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rolomac
Posts: 119
Joined: 7/17/2005
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My friend Charlie went to the Superbowl. He saved for a year to be able to afford a ticket and transportation and arranged for the time off from work. His seat was way up in the stadium about a mile away from the action but he had brought his binoculars to see the game. During the pre-game ceremonies he was looking around the stadium with his binoculars and noticed that there was an empty seat right on the 50 yard line and just ten rows back from the field. He thought that was odd - since every other seat seemed to be filled - and went on looking around. As game time was getting closer he kept looking back at that seat and it was still unoccupied. Finally - with just a few minutes to go before the kick-off he decided he just had to check that out, so he worked his way down to that spot and sure enough - there was the empty seat, just ten rows back and right on the fifty yard line.
Charlie asked the gentleman sitting next to the empty seat if it was occupied. The man shrugged and said "No". Charlie asked if he would mind if he sat there and the man shrugged again and said "No problem." Charlie moved in and sat down and was amazed at the view he had. Talking to the gentleman next to him he said, "This seat is absolutely incredible." The man answered, "I know - I bought it for that reason." Charlie said, "You mean you bought this seat and nobody is sitting in it?" The man looked rather sad and said, "Yes, I bought these two seats - one for me and one for my wife - but she passed away." Charlie felt terrible and said to the man, "I'm really sorry - but isn't there a family member or a friend or even a neighbor who could have been sitting here?"
"No," said the man, "They are all at the funeral."
Rolomac
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RE: This one had me cracking up - 2/22/2008 10:29:33 AM
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rolomac
Posts: 119
Joined: 7/17/2005
Status: offline
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My nephew, Billy, went to confession and told the priest, "Father I have sinned, I've been with a girl in my class who has loose moral virtue." The priest said, "This is very serious, Billy, but I'm glad you've told me. Who is this girl?" Billy replied, "Father I can't tell you that - I can't hurt the girl's reputation." The priest explained to Billy that for the confession to be complete and meaningful he required all of the information. Billy refused. The priest tried a different approach.
"Billy, is it Mary Smith?" and Billy replied, "Father I just can't tell you."
"Then is it Sally Jones?" and Billy replied, "No Father, I can't answer."
"Is it Susan Brown?" and Billy replied, "Father it isn't Susan - - - I just can't tell you."
"Billy, is it Betty Williams?" and Billy again replied, "Father it isn't Betty. I can't tell you who it is."
In frustration, the priest said, "Billy, I have no choice but to tell you your punishment. You've been an altar boy for a long time. I want you to go home and reflect on your sin. You must give up your altar boy duties for four weeks." Billy said, "Yes, Father." and left the confessional. When he got outside, two of his friends were waiting and asked, "Well, how did it go?"
"Great", said Billy, I got a four week vacation and four good leads.
Rolomac
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RE: This one had me cracking up - 2/29/2008 1:55:36 PM
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rolomac
Posts: 119
Joined: 7/17/2005
Status: offline
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Somebody tell a joke quick or this topic will soon drop off the page!!!
Rolomac
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RE: This one had me cracking up - 3/2/2008 9:00:06 AM
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Fevered
Posts: 60
Joined: 9/28/2007
Status: offline
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>A redneck family was visiting the city and they were in a mall for
>the first time in their life. The father and son were strolling
>around while the wife shopped. They were amazed by almost everything
>they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move
>apart and then slide back together again.
> >
> >The boy asked, "Paw, what's 'at?"
> >
> >The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, "Son, I
>dunno. I ain't never seen nothin' like that in my entire life. I
>ain't got no idea'r what it is."
> >
> >While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat
>old lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed
>a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a
>small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the
>small numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued
>to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began
>to light in the reverse order. Then the walls opened up again and a
>gorgeous, voluptuous 24-year-old blonde woman stepped out.
> >
> >The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly
>to his son, "Boy, go git yer Momma...."
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RE: This one had me cracking up - 3/2/2008 10:13:53 AM
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jaimie08mazda3
Posts: 2057
Joined: 8/25/2007
Status: online
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HAHAHAAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHHAHHAQ LMFAOOOOOOOOOO
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2008 mazda3 GS 5spd
Jaimie08mazda3:ricing out a 4 door integra is stupid
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RE: This one had me cracking up - 3/3/2008 7:46:21 AM
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cl8ton
Posts: 240
Joined: 6/1/2007
Status: offline
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Two Irish nuns have just arrived in Canada by boat and one says to the
other, "I hear that the people of this country actually eat dogs."
"Odd," her companion replies, "but if we shall live in Canada , we might as well do as the Canadians do."
As they sit, they hear a push cart vendor yell "Get your dogs here" and they both walk towards the hot dog cart.
"Two dogs, please! ," says one.
The vendor is very pleased to oblige, wraps both hot dogs in foil and hands them over.
Excited, the nuns hurry to a bench and begin to unwrap their 'dogs'.
The mother superior is first to open hers. She begins to blush and then, staring at it for a moment, leans to the other Nun and whispers cautiously.
"What part did you get"?
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